The Phonecall (Explicit)

The Phonecall - Jon Lajoie

Can't believe this

Kill this mother****er

Hallo

Hallo

Jake

Uh hi there Bob how is it going

I'm just fun-****ing-tastic

Jake How are you

Oh you know can't complain

That's just ****ing great

Hey I just spoke with my

Neighbour who lives across the street

From he told me that you came by my house today

While I was at work

Oh uh yeah yeah

I just popped in there for a few minutes

Few minutes

My neighbour

Says it was more like three hours

So what could've you been possible

Doing alone with my wife in my house

For three hours

Oh no no no look I

'Cause you see a guy like me can get suspicious

Listen uh I can explain everything I I

Oh I want you to explain

It's not what you think um

Well please enlighten me Jake

'Cause I'm really ****ing curious

To know what you were doing

Look it's nothing it's stupid

Really I I went over to your

House around one o'clock huh

And I ****ed your wife

And then I left

Really

Really I swear I went over

I ****ed her for a while and

After we both came I just went home

Is my name Forest Gump Jake

Um what

Answer the ****ing question

Is my name Forest Gump

Oh well no

So why are you treating me

Like I'm a ****ing retard

You expect me to believe that

You were in my house for

Three hours and all you did was **** my wife

Listen I I I came over she

She blew me there for a while aha

I came so we had to wait for a while

Then we had sex in the

Kitchen for a while

Then we had sex in the living room

You're ****ing lying to me

And I really don't like it Jake

You were in my house for three hours

No no it's not like that

You see we had sex a few times

And then she wanted more

She said she was really wet and feeling

Dirty and she wants more than

One cock inside of her hm

So I'm to be

So we called your brother to

See if he wanted to come over and

Get in on the action and

And he said 'yes' so we waited around

For him

For about an hour that's

That's why it took so long

My brother uhm

You and my brother double-teamed my wife

Oh yeah yeah

We gave it to her boy

In every hole

Aha see that's funny

'Cause my brother's in Miami this week I find

It hard to believe that my brother

Flew all the way to Miami to

Double-team my wife with you

Oh well uhh

And you know what the funny thing is

The facet in my kitchen has been

Leaking for three months now

And suddenly today of all days it

Decided to stop leaking

Uh oh oh

I'm gonna give you one last

Chance to answer this question

And if you

Lie I guarantee you you're gonna regret it

What where you doing in

My house today

I'm I'm sorry

Your wife called me

And I didn't I didn't

Aanswer the ****ing question

Your wife wanted me to fix the facet

'Cause she couldn't stand the dripping

Noise anymore I didn't want to do it but she begged me

And what did you do

I fixed it I fixed the facet I'm sorry

You mother****ing cocksucking piece of ****

You ****ing fix my facet you

Backstabbing **** I'm gonna fix your face you hear me

I'm gonna fix your ****ing face

And I'm never gonna **** your wife again that's for sure

Last night was the last time

No no please don't do this

Never again