F**K Everything (Explicit)

F**K Everything (Explicit) - Jon Lajoie

Yo other rappers claim to not give a f**k

Well step aside b***hes

'Cause I give the lowest amount of f**k humanly possible what

I don't give a f**k

About anything f**k everyone and f**k everything what

I don't give a f**k

I literally don't give a f**k about anything

I don't give a f**k about motherf**kin' anything

People care about s**t I say f**k everything

F**k you f**k me f**k the sky f**k trees

F**k the sun I don't need heat or vitamin D

And f**k toasters I don't need to cook my bread

And f**k coasters I use a little plate instead

And f**k roosters with your useless cock a doodle doo

We invented alarm clocks we no longer need you

Don't give a f**k about chairs I prefer to stand

And f**k air conditioners I got a ceiling fan

And f**k the movie The Fan starring Wesley Snipes

Demolition Man is the only Snipes movie I like

And f**k likin' s**t

I don't even like the stuff that I like

Don't give a f**k about not likin'

All the s**t I don't like

Like tissues f**k 'em I'll blow my nose on the couch

And f**k my nostrils and my sense of smell

I breathe through my mouth

Don't give a f**k about seeing b***h f**k my eyes

F**k visual perception yo I'd rather be blind

And f**k time seconds are too short and minutes are a joke

And hours are way too long

They should be half an hour at most

And f**k coasts don't give a f**k about where water meets land

And f**k boats

Just 'cause you float you think you're so f**kin' bad

And f**k jokes I don't need to be funny all the time

My dog has a tumor and he's probably gonna die but

I don't give a f**k

About anything f**k everyone and f**k everything what

I don't give a f**k

I literally don't give a f**k about anything

Walked into a coffeeshop and ordered a cup

The girl said small medium or large

I said b***h I don't give a f**k

She said I can't process your order

If you don't pick a size

I said fine I'll take a large

But I still don't give a f**k alright

Don't give a f**k about beverage size options motherf**ker

And I don't give a f**k about liquids either

They're all wet and s**t

And tend to spill all over the place

Like human semen when I get it all over my face

I'm not gay I just don't give a f**k about straight s*x

And f**k my d**k

I'll pee and cum out of my mouth instead

And f**k biological functions f**k the human body

I prefer the body of a bat

And the head of a coyote

I call myself Batyote and I fight crime at night

I know it's similar to Batman but motherf**k copyright

I plagiarize all the time I do it every day

'Cause I'm on the right track baby

I was born this way

And f**k birth enterin' the world

Of space and time is a b***h

Searchin' for purpose in the random universe sucks d**k

Is it deterministic or am I free to choose my way

Did I choose to not give a f**k about ice cube trays

If I want ice

I'll go to the f**kin' corner store and buy a bag

Fillin' you up

And waitin' for the water to freeze is a motherf**kin' drag

You know what f**k the word

F**k I don't need to use it

I'll replace it with the word chainsaw for this chorus

I don't give a chainsaw

About anything chainsaw everyone and chainsaw everything what

I don't give a chainsaw

I literally don't give a chainsaw 'bout anything

If there were a contest

To see who doesn't give a f**k the most

I wouldn't win 'cause I don't give a f**k about winnin' yo

And don't even give a f**k about not givin' a f**k

So I do give a f**k wait what

I give a f**k

About everything I love everyone and care about everything what

I give a f**k

I literally care about every motherf**kin' thing