Seventy-Six Trombones (Remastered)

Seventy six trombones led the big parade

With a hundred and ten cornets close at hand

They were followed by rows and rows of the finest virtuosos

The cream of ev'ry famous band

Seventy six trombones caught the morning sun

With a hundred and ten cornets right behind

There were more than a thousand reeds springing up like w**ds

There were horns of ev'ry shape and kind

There were copper bottom tympani in horse platoons

Thundering thundering all along the way

Double bell euphoniums and big bassoons

Each bassoon having his big fat say

There were fifty mounted cannon in the battery

Thundering thundering louder than before

Clarinets of eve'ry size and trumpeters who'd improvise

A full octave higher than the score

Seventy six trombones led the big parade

When the order to March rang out loud and clear

Starting off with a big bang bong on a Chinese gong

By a big bang bonger at the rear

Seventy six trombones hit the counter point

While a hundred and ten cornets played the air

Then I modestly took my place as the one and only bass

And I oompahed up and down the square