The Contest

The Contest - Sacha Baron Cohen/Johnny Depp

I am Adolpho Pirelli

The king of the barbers

The barber of kings

And bongiorno good-day

I blow you a kiss (blows kiss)

And I The so famous pirelli

I wish-a to know-a who

Has-a the nerve-a to say

My elixir is piss

Who says this

I do I'm

Mr Sweeney Todd

Of Fleet Street

I 'ave opened a bottle

Of Pirelli's elixir

And I say to you

That it is nothing

But an arrant fraud

Concocted from piss and ink

And furthermore signor

I've serviced no kings

Yet I wager that I can shave

A cheek with ten times the dexterity

Than any street mountebank

You hear this foolish man

Now please you will see how

You will-s regret this folly

Who's for a free shave

Will beadle Bamford be the Judge

Glad as always to oblige

My friends and neighbors

The fastest smoothest

Shave is the winner

Now signorini signori

We mix-a the lather

But first-a you gather around

Signorini signori

You look in a man who have

Had-a the glory to shave-a

The pope Mr Sweeney whoever

I beg-a your pardon

Will probably say

It was only a cardinal - NOPE

It was-a the pope

To shave-a the face

To cut-a the hair

Require the grace

Require the flair

For if-a you slip

You nick the skin

You clip-a the chin

You rip-a the lip

A bit beyond-a repair

The shave-a the face

Or even a part

Without it-a smart

Require the heart

Not just-a the flash

It take-a panash

It take-a the passion

For the art

To shave-a the face

To trim-a the beard

To make-a the bristle

Clean like a whistle

This is from early infancy

The talent give to me by god

It take-a the skill

It take-a the brains

It take-a the will

To take-a the pains

It take-a the pace

It take-a the grace

The winner is Todd