Master of the House

Master of the House (この家の主) - Sasha Baron Cohen/Helena Bonham Carter/Les Misérables Cast

Lyrics by：Claude-Michel SchönbergAlain BoublilHerbert Kretzmer/Claude-Michel SchönbergAlain BoublilHerbert Kretzmer/Claude-Michel SchönbergAlain BoublilHerbert Kretzmer

Composed by：Claude-Michel Schönberg/Alain Boublil/Jean-Marc Natel/Herbert Kretzmer

My band of soaks

My den of dissolutes

My dirty jokes my always pissed as newts

My sons of whores

No no no no not tonight spend their lives in my inn

Homing pigeons homing in

They fly through my doors

And they crawl out on all fours

Welcome Monsieur sit yourself down

And meet the best innkeeper in town

As for the rest all of 'em crooks

Rooking their guests and cooking the books

Seldom do you see

Honest men like me

A gent of good intent

Who's content to be

Master of the house doling out the charm

Ready with a handshake and an open palm

Tells a saucy tale makes a little stir

Customers appreciate a bon viveur

Glad to do a friend a favor

Doesn't cost me to be nice

But nothing gets you nothing

Everything has got a little price

Master of the house keeper of the zoo

Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two

Watering the wine making up the weight

Pickin' up their knick knacks when they can't see straight

Everybody loves a landlord

Everybody's bosom friend

I do whatever pleases

Jesus won't I bleed 'em in the end

Master of the house quick to catch yer eye

Never was a passerby to pass him by

Servant to the poor butler to the great

Comforter philosopher and lifelong mate

Everybody's boon companion

Everybody's chaperone

But lock up your valises

Jesus won't I skin you to the bone

Food beyond compare

Food beyond belief

Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef

Kidney of a horse liver of a cat

Filling up the sausages with this and that

Residents are more than welcome

Bridal suite is occupied

Reasonable charges

Plus some little extras on the side

Oh Santa

Charge 'em for the lice extra for the mice

Two percent for looking in the mirror twice hand it over

Here a little slice there a little cut

Three percent for sleeping with the window shut

When it comes to fixing prices

There are a lot of tricks I knows

How it all increases all them bits and pieces

Jesus it's amazing how it grows

Oh sorry love

Must get something done about that

I used to dream that I would meet a prince

But God Almighty have you seen

What's happened since

Master of the house

Isn't worth my spit

Comforter philosopher and lifelong s**t

Cunning little brain regular Voltaire

Thinks he's quite a lover

But there's not much there

What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse

God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house

Master of the house

Master and a half

Comforter philosopher

Don't make me laugh

Servant to the poor butler to the great

Hypocrite and toady and inebriate

Everybody bless the landlord

Everybody bless his spouse

Everybody raise a glass

Raise it up the master's arse

Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the House