I Almost Had A Weakness

I Almost Had a Weakness - Elvis Costello with the Brodsky Quartet

Thank you for the flowers

I threw them on the fire

And I burned the photographs

That you had enclosed

God they were ugly children

So you're the little bastard of

That brother of mine

Trying to trick a poor old woman

Til I almost had a weakness

Last week cousin Florence

Bit your uncle Joe

Hit him on the forehead

With a knife and a fork

Said that he looked like the devil

Then she said pass the vinegar

I'm beginning to think

That I'm the only one who hasn't

Taken to the drinking of it

Though I almost had a weakness

It pains me to mention

These delicate concerns

While I have to tolerate you family jewels

I really mustn't grumble

Cause when I die the cats and dogs

Will jump up and down

And you little swines will get nothing

Though I almost had a weakness