One Day

One Day - Andy Karl/Barrett Doss/Groundhog Day The Musical Company/Tim Minchin

Written by：Tim Minchin

I was brought up in taffeta dresses

And taught to be pretty and precious

And spending my playtimes with plastic princesses

Who all had these bodies

Just utterly ludicrous

Minuscule waists and huge boobs and it's

All nippleless and no pubes

And no creases

I mean Jesus

It's pretty confusing

Especially at six

In that fairy tale world

All the girls end up happy ever after

Wooing their knights in shining armor

But some nights down the track

You can bet they'll be trapped

Spending nights in shining armor

While their knights spend their nights at a bar

Or at a ball with some harlot

I'm not bitter

It's just better that I don't fall for all that

Romantic bullsh*t now that I'm older

Although I don't mind

The thought of being tossed over a shoulder

And trotted off to a mansion

By some ruggedly handsome

Man in a fireman helmet

And have him just use me for sex

As I say it's a little complex

One day some day

My prince may come

But it doesn't seem likely

And even if he came and he liked me

It's likely he'd be

Not quite my type

Some day they say

He'll come riding up on the back of a horse

But of course I'm allergic to horses

How will I tell him

He'll just have to sell him

I went to school with a girl

I remember her well

She was pretty smart

And pretty as hell

Her folks had a farm

But she wouldn't stay of course

She wanted prince charming

So she went to LA of course

Managed to seduce

Famous actor or producer

Shacked up in a house in the hills

With a cat and a juicer

And a fancy car and a tennis court

But the guy wasn't quite the catch

She thought she'd caught

He treats her like trash and then

You know the drill

Takes his cat and his cash

And finds some younger girl

So she's left with this stupid corvette

And an empty swimming pool which she fills with regret

Smart girl but kind of dumb

And I'd rather be lonely than sit on my fanny

Waiting for my prince to come

One day some day

He'll come sweeping in and sweep me off my feet

And spend the next four decades wanting to cheat on me

Getting less handsome

And fighting his dragons

He'd know what to wear

He'd have a full head of hair

And his eyes would be brown or blue or green

Well I don't care

And his body would be toned

With those pecs like you get at the gym

But he won't spend all his time at the gym

And he'll love reading books

He'll be an excellent cook

He'll be good looking but not too aware of his looks

He'll be tender but tough

And smart but not smug

And attentive but not fawning

And he'll smell good in the morning

And he'll dance

And like hiking

And baking and biking

I'm not picky I just ask

That he likes me and I like him

And I'd rather be alone

If the only other option

Is succumb and settle down

With some condescending clown

With a great rating from some dating service

Some self professing Mr Perfect

Another narcissistic legend

Made a million out of hedge funds

Another sexually ineffectual

Self obsessing Metrosexuals

Pseudointellectual

Getting drunk and existential

Every time the steelers lose a game

Thanks but perhaps some other day

One day some day

My prince may come

But I won't hold my breath

There's only divorcees and weirdos left

And weird is fine

But not all the time

One day some day

My prince will come

So the fairy tales said

Thirty years later it's still in my head

That if I screw a frog

I will wake in a four poster bed

There was a day with a girl

I remember it well

Her name was

Janine

Or Janean

Or Joelle

It's Joelle

We drank piña coladas

Watched the sun setting over the bay

Watched the sun setting over the bay

We made love in the sand

And when we were through

We went back to her room

And watched ghostwriters II

Smoked half a joint

And ate half a pound of pate

It was way too much pate

Why couldn't that be my

One day

Some day

I'll cut down on fried chicken take away

My doctor said one day my heart will stop tickin'

Unless I cut down on that chicken

I will do it one day

I'll stop drinking so much

I'll stop dating men who are twenty years older

I'll get a new safety clip for my holster

It opens too quick

I'll do it next week

One day I'll get a new coffee maker

Some day I will buy her a ring

One day death will come to everyone

One day I'll learn how to sing

One day

Some day

My prince may come

But it doesn't seem likely

That I'm gonna give her some life meant

Phil you bought me candy

I bought you candy

Can I get in your panties now

One day

Some day

I'm not enough

Of an actual man

I'm not your fictional man

I'm just me

Who will love me for all that I am

With all that he is

This is all that there is

Ok Phil we're on in

Five one day

Four three one day two

Ok Phil we're on in

Five one day

Four three one day two

Ok Phil we're on in

Five one day

Four three one day two

Tomorrow spring will come and then

There will be blue skies my friend

Bright eyes and laughter

Tomorrow

You can curse cast spells or cry

Offer your prayers to the unfeeling sky

The spring will arrive when the winter is done

And if it's not tomorrow

Then tomorrow

Then tomorrow

Then tomorrow

Then tomorrow

Then tomorrow

Then tomorrow

Then tomorrow

Then tomorrow

Then tomorrow

Then tomorrow

Then tomorrow

Then tomorrow

Then tomorrow

Then tomorrow

Then tomorrow

Aaaaaaaa