A Fine Romance

A fine romance with no kisses

A fine romance my friend this is

We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes

Tomatoes dear

But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes

Potatoes

A fine romance you won't nestle

A fine romance you won't even wrestle

You've never mussed the crease in my blue serge pants

You never take a chance this is a fine romance

A fine romance my good fellow

You take romance I'll take Jello

You're calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean

At least they flap their fins to express emotion

A fine romance my dear Duchess

Two old fogies we really need crutches

You're just as hard to land as the Ile de France

France

I haven't got a chance this is a fine romance

Chance

A fine romance my good woman

My strong aged-in-the-wood woman

You never give those orchids I send a glance

They're just like cactus plants this is a fine romance

Oh boy