Poor Unfortunate Souls (Broadway Cast Recording)

My dear sweet child

It's what I live for

To help unfortunate merfolk

Like yourself

Poor souls with no one else to turn to

I admit that in the past I've been a nasty

They weren't kidding when they called me well a witch

But you'll find that nowadays

I've mended all my ways

Repented seen the light and made a switch

True

Yes

And I fortunately know a little magic

It's a talent that I always have possessed

And here lately please don't laugh

I use it on behalf

Of the miserable lonely and depressed

Pathetic

Poor unfortunate souls

In pain

In need

This one longing to be thinner

That one wants to get the girl

And do I help them

Yes indeed

Those poor unfortunate souls

So sad

So true

They come flocking to my cauldron

Crying spells ursula please

And I help them

Yes I do

Now it's happened once or twice

Someone couldn't pay the price

And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em across the coals

Yes I've had the odd complaint

But on the whole I've been a saint

To those poor unfortunate souls

Here's my best offer babykins

I know a spell that will turn you into a human for three days

Now it's got a procedural clause sort of a squid pro quo

Before the sun sets on the third day

You've got to get dear ol' princey to kiss you

If you do you'll stay human forever

And if I don't

Nothing drastic darling I'm sure

Oh look small print

Your soul is mine forever

And you're doomed to spend eternity in my watery

Hell soaked lair

Lawyers don't you just love 'em

Of course there is one more thing my fee

But I don't have anything

I'm not askin' for much only your voice

My voice but if I give away my voice how can I ever

You'll have your looks your pretty face and don't underestimate the power of body language

The men up there don't like a lot of blabber

They think a girl who gossips is a bore

Yet on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word

And after all dear what is idle prattle for

Come on they're not all that impressed with conversation

True gentlemen avoid it when they can

But they dote and swoon and fawn

On a lady who's withdrawn

It's she who holds her tongue who gets a man

Come on you poor unfortunate soul

Go ahead

Make your choice

I'm a very busy woman

And I haven't got all day

It won't cost much

Just your voice

You poor unfortunate soul

It's sad but true

If you want to cross the bridge my sweet

You've got the pay the toll

Take a gulp and take a breath

Go ahead and sign the scroll

Flotsam jetsam now I've got her boys

The boss is on a roll

You poor unfortunate soul

Beluga sevruga come winds of the caspian sea

Larynxes glaucitis ad max laryngitis la voce to me

Now sing sing your voice over to me

Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

Sing and keep singing

Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

Now swim swim swim swim for your life human child

Ha ha ha