Hot Water Burn Baby (Album Version)

Father：Well Ryan tomorrow's a big day Your mom's coming home

From the hospital with your new baby sister

Ryan：baby sister

Father：That's right baby sister

Ryan：baby sister

Father：So uh I think now is the time for us to go over

Some safety rules for when you're around your new baby sister

Ryan：saftey rules

Father：Okay rule number one：Always wash your hands before touching the baby

Ryan：wash hands

Father：Do you know why

Ryan：no

Father：Well because sometimes you have germs on your hands and germs

Are bad for the baby cause they can make the baby sick

Ryan：germs make baby sick

Father：That's right that's right Ryan Germs make baby sick

Ryan：germs make the baby sick

Father：Okay rule number two

Ryan：more rules

Father：Don't feed the baby anything

Ryan：don't feed the baby

Father：That's right

Ryan：why

Father：Well because the baby needs to eat special baby food

Ryan：why

Father：Oh well other food is bad for the baby

Ryan：other food bad for the baby

Father：That's right good Now rule number three

Ryan：more rules

Father：Never take hot water near the baby because

Hot water will burn the baby

Ryan：water bad for the baby

Father：Well not all water just hot water

Ryan：yes

Father：Cause hot water will burn the baby

Ryan：i don't understand daddy

Father：Okay see this glass of water that I'm drinking

Ryan：yes

Father：Well this water is okay for the baby

Ryan：yes

Father：Here touch the glass

Ryan：yes

Father：See it's nice and cool

Ryan：yes

Father：Now if this was hot water that would be bad

Because hot water can burn the baby

Ryan：hot water burn baby

Father：Yes hot water burn baby

Ryan：hot water burn baby

Father：Yes yes hot water burn baby

Ryan：hot water burn your baby

Father：Yes

Ryan：baby can't go in swimming pool

Father：Oh no the swimming pool is okay Swimming pool water is cool

Ryan：yes

Father：That's alright

Ryan：yes

Father：But the jacuzzi is bad because that water

Is hot and hot water will burn the baby

Ryan：hot water burn the baby

Father：Yes

Ryan：hot water burn the baby

Father：Yes Now say you made a cup of tea

Would you take that near the baby

Ryan：yea baby like tea

Father：No Ryan uh I don't think you get it yet

Ryan：baby no like tea

Father：Well I'm sure the baby will like tea but what do you make tea with

Ryan：hot water

Father：Right and what did we say about hot water

Ryan：oh hot water burn baby

Father：Yes hot water burn baby

Ryan：hot water burn baby

Father：That's right so no tea near the baby

Ryan：hot water burn baby

Father：Yes

Ryan：baby no take bath

Father：No bath water is warm Warm is okay

Ryan：yes

Father：Hot is bad

Ryan：yes hot water burn baby

Father：Yes hot water burn baby

Ryan：hot water burn baby

Father：I think you're gettin' it

Ryan：hot water burn baby

Father：That's right Ryan

Ryan：hot water burn baby

Father：NOW DON'T YOU EVER FORGET THAT

Narrator：30 year later

Wife：Hey Ryan what are you doing out there

Ryan：Just watchin' the discovery channel

Wife：Well dinner's gonna be ready in about five minutes

Ryan：Aw great baby aight I'll be in in a few momentos Lemme just wind down

Garbled

Wife：Okay honey

Ryan：Yeah

TV：The villagers of Pasquan

Ryan：Pasquan

TV：have a very bizarre and painful way of welcoming their infants into the community

Ryan：

Garbled

TV：Unfortunately the death rate from this ritual is a mortifying 90 percent

Ryan：My God

TV：That explains the Pasquan's low population

Ryan：Yeah it does

TV：On the first full moon of Autumn all the Pasquanian mothers

Wrap their new borns in traditional hand painted deerskin

Ryan：Deerskin

TV：which have been passed along from generation to generation

Ryan：That's nice

TV：The entire Pasquan population then forms a circle

On the sacred battlefield of Chin Chara

Ryan：ya yara

TV：Each Pasquanian baby is then passed hand to hand around the circle

Ryan：Wow

TV：four times

Ryan：Four times

TV：Once for the sun

Ryan：Hmm

TV：once for the moon

Ryan：The moon

TV：once for the earth

Ryan：The earth

TV：and once for the wind

Ryan：The wind too

TV：When the babies arrive back in their mother's hands

They are marched in procession to the Pasquanian natural hot springs

Ryan：What

TV：where the ceremonial purification will be completed

Ryan：What are you saying here

TV：As we watch the mothers take their progeny out of the deerskin shells

Ryan：No

TV：and dunk them into the steaming water

Ryan：No No Hot water burn baby Hot water burn baby

Father：That's right Ryan Hot water burn baby

Ryan：Hot water burn baby

Wife：Ryan What's going on out there Are you okay

Ryan：Hot water burn baby

Father：Hot water burn most definitely burn baby

Ryan：Hot water burn baby

Father：That's right Ryan Hot water burn baby

Ryan：Hot water burn baby

Father：You are a b***h Ryan

Ryan：Hot water burn baby

Wife：Ryan are you alright

Father：Hot water burn the baby

Ryan：Hot water burn baby

Wife：Ryan

Father：What are you gonna do w***e

Wife：Ryan

Ryan：Hot water burn baby

Father：b***h

Wife：Ryan What's going on out there

Ryan：Hot water burn baby

Father：w***e

Wife：Who are you talking to

Father：b***h

Ryan：I'm talking to the man

Father：w***e

Ryan：Hot water burn baby

Wife：Ryan

Father：b***h Ryan is a w***e