Listen to Why Can't the English song with lyrics from Alan Jay Lerner

Why Can't the English

Alan Jay Lerner8 Mar 2013

Why Can't the English Lyrics

Why Can't the English - Alan Jay Lerner

Look at her a prisoner of the gutter


Condemned by every syllable she ever uttered


By law she should be taken out and hung


For the cold-blooded murder of the English tongue


Aaoooww Henry imitating her


This is what the British population


Calls an elementary education Pickering Oh

Counsel I think you picked a poor example

Henry Did I


Hear them down in Soho square

Dropping "h's" everywhere

Speaking English anyway they like


You sir did you go to school

Man Wadaya tike me for a fool

Henry No one taught him 'take' instead of 'tike


Hear a Yorkshireman or worse

Hear a Cornishman converse


I'd rather hear a choir singing flat


Chickens cackling in a barn Just like this one

Eliza Garn Henry I ask you sir

What sort of word is that


It's "Aoooow" and "Garn" that keep her in her place


Not her wretched clothes and dirty face


Why can't the English teach their children how to speak

This verbal class distinction by now should be antique

If you spoke as she does sir Instead of the way you do

Why you might be selling flowers too

An Englishman's way of speaking absolutely classifies him


The moment he talks he makes some other

Englishman despise him


One common language I'm afraid we'll never get

Oh why can't the English learn to set


A good example to people whose

English is painful to your ears


The Scotch and the Irish leave you close to tears


There even are places where English completely


Disappears In America they haven't used it for years


Why can't the English teach their children how to speak

Norwegians learn Norwegian; the Greeks have taught their

Greek In France every Frenchman knows

His language fro "A" to "Zed"


As long as they pronounce in properly


Arabians learn Arabian with the speed of summer lightning

And Hebrews learn it backwards

Which is absolutely frightening


But use proper English you're regarded as a freak

Why can't the English



Why can't the English learn to speak