Mrs. Binns's Twins

Mrs. Binns's Twins - Gracie Fields

Behold in me a member of a family called Binns

My mother's just increased the population

With some twins

A lovely girl a bouncing boy

They've neither mumps or quinsies

We had a family gathering to name

The Binns's Twinsies

Eric and Veronica

Suggested Auntie Monica

To Nurse as she removed the safety pins

Cecil and Celia Clarence and Ophelia

Were some of the names

They tried to bung on Missus Binns's twins

Call the girl child Pansy

Said the curate looking coy

Oh no said sister Susie

Folks'll think she is a boy

Call 'em what the heck you like

Said Uncle Benje Binns

But what about summat to drink

The health of Missus Binns's twins

Old Bill the Captain of a barge

Suggested Ebb and Flo

Bob Brown who's breeding rabbits

Gave his vote for Buck and Doe

Then just as we'd made up our minds to

Call 'em Kate and Sidney

Old Silver side the Butcher said

Well why not Steak and Kidney

Boney part and Josephine

Suggested Great Aunt Clementine

Who'd had about a dozen double gins

Archibald and Adeline

Claudius and Caroline

Were some o' the names they

Tried to bung on Missus Binns's twins

Call 'em Bright and Breezy

Said the servant girl Maria

Call 'em Wet and Windy said Doctor Macintyre

Father said If I weren't scared

O adding to me sins

I'd tell you a few of the names

I've got for the breaking Binns's twins