Anything Goes

Times have changed

And we've often rewound the clock

Since the Puritans got a shock

When they landed on Plymouth Rock

If today

Any shock they should try to stem

Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock

Plymouth Rock would land on them

In olden days a glimpse of stocking

Was looked on as something shocking

But now God knows

Anything Goes

Good authors too who once knew better words

Now only use four letter words

Writing prose Anything Goes

If driving fast cars you like

If low bars you like

If old hymns you like

If bare limbs you like

If Mae West you like

Or me undressed you like

Why nobody will oppose

When every night

The set that's smart

Is intruding in nudist parties in studios

Anything Goes

When Missus Ned McLean God bless her

Can get Russian reds to yes her

Then I suppose

Anything goes

When Rockefeller still

Can hoard enough money to let Max Gordon

Produce his shows

Anything goes

The world has gone mad today

And goods bad today

And black's white today

And day's night today

And that gent today

You gave a cent today

Once had several chateaux

When folks who still can ride in jitneys

Find out Vanderbilts and Whitneys

Lack baby cloes

Anything goes

If Sam Goldwyn can with great conviction

Instruct Anna Sten in diction

Then Anna shows

Anything goes

When you hear that Lady Mendl standing up

Now turns a handspring landing up

On her toes

Anything goes

Just think of those shocks you've got

And those knocks you've got

And those blues you've got

From that news you've got

And those pains you've got

If any brains you've got

From those little radios

So Missus R with all her trimmin's

Can broadcast a bed from Simmons

Cause Franklin knows

Anything goes