Happy New Year

Happy New Year - Spike Jones/Henry

This is my new year's resolution

When my mother-in-law begins to yell and shout

Through the window i would like to throw her out

But i resolve not to do it here is why

I'm afraid of hitting someone passing by

This is my new year's resolution

When i'm at the movies watching a love seen

And a lady's hat is blocking half the screen

I resolve not to shout take off that hat

I'll remove it gently with a baseball bat

This is my new year's resolution

When i take a lovely lady out to eat

And she orders caviar instead of meat

I resolve to let the lady have her fill

And of course i'll also let her pay the bill

This is my new year's resolution

When i'm sitting with my wifey on a bus

And a dear old lady stands in front of us

I resolve to be a gentleman discreet

I'll politely offer her my wifey's seat

This is my new year's resolution

When my mother says come in it's time to eat

And i keep on playing games out in the street

I resolve to rush right home now when i'm called

Cause my pop just got a hairbrush and he's bald

This is my new year's resolution

On the radio this year i hope to score

With some funny jokes you've never heard before

I resolve not to tell a corny joke

Hello what's that the church burned down holy smoke

This is my new year's resolution

In this coming year i'm going to be discreet

Have the slicker's playing music soft and sweet

I resolve to treat tchaikovsky tenderly

And set his second movement with tnt