It's Not Funny

It's Not Funny - Run-D.M.C.

Heard that they said that it's rainin men

But the offer that I make

It won't be made again

You don't have to write

You don't have to call

It's a one-time offer for nothing at all

And there's no red tape

I don't make it hard

You don't need cash money or a Master Card

I got easy terms and a lay-away

But I need a quick decision

And I need it today

And if you find that you don't like my ways

Well you can send me back in 30 days

Now have you ever seen a man with a guarantee

Well you're lookin at him now

Cause the man is me

And if you don't believe all the things I say

I'm certified 'prime' by the USDA

Now the name that I use is DJ Run

And I'm a fast-talkin slow-walkin number one

And if you don't believe all the words I say

Then you're a natural born fool who's got to be that way

I got a 50 rating and a 50 share

Every minute every hour that I'm on the air

And when I come to town I'm on a big marquee

It says (DJ Run) and me D M C

And if you find that you don't like my ways

Well you can send me back in 30 days

A good job and lots of money might not be enough

And to satisfy your needs it may be rough

But I take some care and treat you nice

And if it ain't sufficient once

I cold work it out twice

And if you find that you don't like my ways

Well you can send me back in 30 days

I'm gonna give you everything that you ever need

If you need a pint of blood

Then I'll even bleed

If you're lookin for a car

I will buy you two

And if you're lookin for a pet

I'll buy a kangaroo

If you need a vacation

We can fly the world

And you'll know I'll never look at another girl

I'm a single-minded man

And my mind is set

You're the lady of the '80s that I'm gonna get

And if you find you don't like my ways

Well you can send me back in 30 days