(The Legend Of) Miss Baltimore Crabs

(The Legend Of) Miss Baltimore Crabs - Michelle Pfeiffer

Front step

Cha cha cha

Back step cha cha cha

Side step

Front step

Back

And turn

Oh my god

Penny

There's link

Link

I can't believe

I'm really here auditioning

I can't believe

I'm really here watching you audition

Fron't step

Cha cha cha

Back step cha cha cha

Side step

Front step

Back and

Oh amber

Look at this motly crew oh

This town has sure gone

Down hill since

I was crowned miss

Oh mother not more ancient history

Oh my god how times have changed

This girls must be blind

Or completely deranged

But times seem to halt

When I was miss baltimore crabs

Amber that move is far too dirty

Mother wake up from

That dream of yours this isn't 1930

You can laugh but life's a test

Don't do this don't do that

Remember

Mother knows best

And the crowns in the vault from

When I won miss baltimore crabs

These steps are perfect ammunition

Let me show you how you mommy dear

Took out the competition

Girls go get

Boys let's rumba

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Those poor runner ups

Might still hold some grudges

They padded their cups

But I screwed the judges

Those broads thought

They'd win if a plate

They would spin in their dance

Ha ha ha not a chance

Boys put me down

Oh good morning ladies

Let's see what you got

Twist twist twist twist

Mashed potato mambo

Ready begin

On my show you'll never find

A thrusting hip or bump and grind

Whats that

A dance for flees and tics

Oh you should have seen my bag of tricks

I hit the stage

Batons ablaze

While belting aida

And preparing souflees

But that triple somersault

Is how I clinched miss baltimore crabs

Proceed

Are you scared we're on live

No I'm sure I can cope

Well this show isn't broadcast in

Cinema scope

I never drink one chocolate malt

No deserts for miss baltimore crabs

This one will never get a date

In those hand me down clothes

Ha kid she'll never get a date

Till daddy buy her a new nose

I would say

OI guvilut

If I wasn't miss baltimore crabs

Do you dance like you dress

Amber theres no need to be cruel

Would you swim in an integrated pool

I sure would I'm all 4 integration

It's the new frontier

Not in baltimore it isn't

And may I be frank

First impressions can be tough

And when I saw you I knew

If your size weren't enough

Your last answer just blew it

And so my dear

So short and stout

You'll never be in

So were kicking you out

With your form and your fate

O it isn't your fault

Just down with a case of

Miss baltimore crabs

Ergh you may go

I'm

Thank you

I think they secretly liked you

May I please audition

Of course not

But you can bow and exalt

'Cause I am miss baltimore crabs

Crabs crabs

Crabs