The Ticket Inspector (Explicit)

The Ticket Inspector (Explicit) - Chance Waters

Silver teeth and the cockiness of james dean

Body like a cantaloupe head like a baked bean

No gun but he gets pretty irrate

So if you run then you'd better learn to fly mate

He spends his mornings tackling evaders

And daydreaming that they issued him a taser

And if they did all the money he could save 'em

With concession cards and bodies on the pavement

And you might joke he takes his job too seriously

But you don't know all the things he's seen

There's a lot of gum under the seats and people's feet

And you might joke he takes his job too seriously

But you don't know all the things he's seen

There's a lot of punks who ride for free and retirees

But in high school he took two lessons in jiu jitsu

And he was pretty good at it I guess

Hey hey please don't go and

Go and throw your life away

Don't you don't you run from him

Son cause he'll f**k up your

Day no he's not gonna

Waste his time taking your name

Trust me there'll be no escape

He's got two feet and half a brain

This dude's like paul blart mall cop

If he lost his segway and had a small

Stop what you're doing if you see him with his badge on

Though jane at the office spelt his name wrong

He doesn't have a baton doesn't have a mad dog

Doesn't know a lot of stuff but he throws a fat punch

His mum packs his lunch taught him wrong from right

Saving the world one ticket at a time

And you might joke he takes his job too seriously

But you don't know all the things he's seen

Sometimes children ride for cheap or talk loudly

And you might joke he takes his job too seriously

But you don't know all the things he's seen

There's a lot bums up on these seats and sometimes feet

But in high school he was one of the members

In the runner-up 4 by 100 meter relay team he still polishes his medal

Hey hey please don't go and

Go and throw your life away

Don't you don't you run from him

Son cause he'll f**k up your

Day no he's not gonna

Waste his time taking your name

Trust me there'll be no escape

He's got two feet and half a brain

They wouldn't let him in the army oh no-o-o-o-o

The wouldn't let him be a sergeant oh no-o-o-o-o

A fireman was far too hard a thing for him to be

He'd write parking tickets but he doesn't like to read

But in high school he lost a jellybean count

And the winner didn't share them maybe that's what this all stems from

Hey hey please don't go and

Go and throw your life away

Don't you don't you run from him

Son cause he'll f**k up your

Day no he's not gonna

Waste his time taking your name

Trust me there'll be no escape

He's got two feet and half a brain

Hey hey please don't go and

Go and throw your life away

Don't you don't you run from him

Son cause he'll f**k up your

Day no he's not gonna

Waste his time taking your name

Trust me there'll be no escape

He's got two feet and half a brain