What a Mouth (What a North and South)

What a Mouth (What a North and South) - Tommy Steele

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Jimmy bean was a funny looking fellah

If he had another mouth he'd look much sweller

But the race queered him from winning a beauty show

It was like a steamboat funnel or a railway arch

Or the black wall tunnel when you can't see Jim

When he opens his mouth you'll know

And as poor Jim goes walking about

You can hear the kids all ollering out

What what ooh um

What a mouth what a mouth what a north and south

Blimey what a mouth he's got

Now when he was a baby well oh gawd love her

His poor old muvver used to feed him with a shovel

What a gap poor chap he's never been known to laugh oy

If he did it's a penny to a quid

That his face would fall in half

Mouth so large oh lord oh lumme

He can whisper in his own ear ain't it funny

And to quench his thirst now he's gotta take a drink o' mine

He got so drunk one foggy morn

He layed in the road and started to yawn

And a poor old man was delivering coals close by

And as he went to shoot the load

He saw Jim's mouth out in the road

What eh ooh what oh yes

What a mouth what a mouth what a north and south

Blimey what a mouth he's got now the poor old man

Being a short sighted fellah when he saw Jim's mouth

He took it for the cellar and he shot the lot

Right into his mouth no joke oy Jim

Poor soul's got a tummy full of coal

And he corfs up lumps o' coke oy

What eh what eeh ooh ooh cor blimey

I thought it was all over oh yes um

What a mouth what a mouth what a north and south

Blimey what a mouth he's got now the poor old man

Being a short sighted fellah when he saw Jim's mouth

He took it for the cellar and he shot the lot right into his mouth

No joke oy Jim poor soul's got a tummy full of coal

And he corfs up lumps of coke oy

Oy oy oy