A Few Words in Defense of Our Country

A Few Words In Defense Of Our Country - Randy Newman

I'd like to say a few words

In defense of our country

Whose people aren't bad

Nor are they mean

Now the leaders we have

While they're the worst that we've had

Are hardly the worst

This poor world has seen

Take the Caesars for example

Within the first few of them

They were sleeping with their sister

Stashing little boys in swimming pools

And burning down the city

And one of 'em one of 'em

Appointed his own horse to be Consul of the Empire

That's like vice president or something

Wait a minute that's not a very good example is it

But wait here's one

The Spanish Inquisition

It put people in a terrible position

I don't even like to think about it

Well sometimes I like to think about it

Just a few words in defense of our country

Whose time at the top

Could be coming to an end

We don't want your love

And respect at this point is pretty much out of the question

But times like these

We sure could use a friend

Hitler

Stalin

Men who need no introduction

King Leopold of Belgium that's right

Everyone thinks he's so great

Well he owned The Congo and he tore it up too

He took the diamonds

He took the silver

He took the gold

You know what he left them with

Malaria

A President once said

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself"

Now we're supposed to be afraid

It's patriotic in fact and color-coded

And what are we supposed to be afraid of

Why of being afraid

That's what terror means doesn't it

That's what it used to mean

You know it kind of pisses me off

That this Supreme Court is going to outlive me

A couple of young Italian fellas and a brother on the Court now too

But I defy you anywhere in the world

To find me two Italians as tightassed as the two Italians we got

And as for the brother well

Pluto's not a planet anymore either

The end of an Empire is messy at best

And this Empire is ending

Like all the rest

Like the Spanish Armada adrift on the sea

We're adrift in the land of the brave and the home of the free

Goodbye

Goodbye

Goodbye